Paul would have turned 70 today. Id like to think we would have thrown him a party with family and friends, showering him with gifts and messages of love. Instead, I write through the reality that he isnt numbering his years anymore. He is on the other side, in the presence of God, where time isnt marked and his often-troubled spirit is finally free. No more pain, sorrow or tears. ——- Last year on his birthday, he was about six months into his battle against the cancer that, after more than two years of hibernation, had awakened famished and hell-bent on taking over more of his body. Uncontrolled pain in his side was a constant companion, interrupting his sleep night after night. The chemotherapy was taking its toll, zapping his strength and, sometimes, his will to fight. My journal entry for that day reads: Pauls 69th birthday. I am…
How ancient words gave me hope for the journey
A few months ago I heard a preacher on the radio say something like, “God is willing to break you to remake you.” As scary as that sounds, the words gave me courage. In fact, they were in sync with the on-going conversation I’d been having with God. A few days before, while reading Deuteronomy 8:1-6, I was struck by verse 2. It says, “Remember how the Lord your God led you through the wilderness for these forty years, humbling you and testing you to prove your character, to find out whether or not you would obey his commands.” Call me crazy, but that passage was a welcome dose of hope for my weary soul. With cancer as the unwelcome guest in my husband’s lungs, the last few years have felt like a very long journey through barren stretches of scorched desert land. Like bare feet on hot sand, my tender heart has…